Tobi's Show
by NaruSasuNarufan
Summary: Not a good summary... Tobi has his own show. Come and watch! Rated T for Hidan's foul mouth.
1. Take 1!

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Naruto characters. Or the circus. I do however own the camerawoman.**

_**{}= thought(s)**_

* * *

Hidan growled. "Come on we're fucking late!"

Konan sighed. "Where's Tobi?"

"It's not 'Tobi's Show' if Tobi's not here..." The banker pointed out.

Pain frowned. **"****TOBI!"**

Kisame clicked his tongue. "What a shame. Guess the shows cancelled! Bye!"

Itachi chuckled and grabbed Kisame's collar. "Hold it you chicken... You're only leaving 'cause of the tigers and other cats..."

"Damn..."

Zetsu looked worried. "Where's my Tobi-chan?"

Tobi poofed in. **"****HERE I AM! TOBI'S HERE 'CAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"**

Deidara stopps. "Wait... Where's Sasori-danna, un?"

Sasori poofs in. "Here I am, Dei-chan." He kisses the blonde.

Deidara blushes.

The camerawoman clears her throat. "I love yaoi but...**ACTION!"**

-Show Starts-

The Akatsuki were on a vacation at the carnival and beach. Why? Well Tobi dragged them here. Why? He said he loved carnivals and the beach. And you know what? They were having the time of their Rouge Ninja lives. Even emo Itachi.

Tobi looks around and sees a flyer. **_{Come to the circus! You'll have the time of your life! Come in for FREE if you have more than SIX people!}_ "SENPAAIIII! CAN WE GO TO THE CIRCUS?"**

Deidara shrugged. "Boss? Can we, un?"

Pain nodded. "Sure. Why not? We've already rode every ride and barfed on every ride you can barf on..."

Tobi cheers. **"****YAY!"** Tobi does a happy dance.

Kisame paled. "Are there c-cats?"

Itachi blinked. "Y-No... There aren't any cats..."

Konan frowns then shakes her head. "Ita-Never mind." _**{Why me...}**_

Itachi smirks.

Sasori smirks. "Dei-chan, can we go to the Arts festival? We can settle whose "art" is better. Please."

Deidara blushes. "N-no... I have to watch Tobi, un."

Sasori groans in frustration.

-FF to the Circus-

The Akatsuki was sitting down watching everything. Tigers, elephants, acrobats, and more! They were having the time of their lives. All except Kisame. He kept a close eye on the felines. He didn't want to be cat food.

Tobi gasps. "**SENNNNPAAAIIII!** Are those big cats real?"

Deidara sighed. "Tigers..., un. Those big cats are called tigers, Tobi. And yes, they're real..."

Tobi smiled. "Oh... Can Tobi pet one? **PLEASE?"**

Sasori licked his lips. "Can he? We can be alone." He kissed the blonde's neck.

Deidara blinked. "Yeah... Go pet one..., un." _**{I hope he doesn't... I'm not in "the mood" for Sasori-danna}**_

Kisame got up. "I gotta go to the ba-"

Itachi grabbed his arm. "No. Stay." He patted the sharks' head.

Kisame pouted. "Fine!"

Hidan growls. **"****SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE JASHIN-DAMNED CIRCUS HERE!"**

Konan scowled. "There are kids here!"

Hidan shrugged. "I don't give a fuck!"

Pain glared. **"****QUIET!"**

Everyone shuts up and Tobi runs to the tigers

Deidara's eyes widen.

Sasori snuggles the blonde. "Dei-chan..." He kisses Deidara's ear, neck, and lips.

Tobi yelped. **"****OWWWW! SENNNNPAAAAIIII! THE TIGER BIT ME!"**

Kisame panicked. "Deidara! Make out with Sasori later! Tobi's being attacked by a tiger!" He whimpered.

Deidara was busy at the moment.

Kisame runs to Tobi.

The tiger licks its lips.

Kisame swallows. "N-nice t-tiger..."

The tiger pounces Kisame.

Kisame screamed. **"****AHHHHHH! DON'T EAT ME!" **He pushes tiger up and runs.

The tiger growls and chases the water ninja.

Itachi laughs. "Oh Kami..." He laughs harder.

Tobi shakes a little. **{Wh-why didn't Senpai help me...?} **He sniffles.** {I thought Senpai was my friend...}** Tobi cries.

-FF to End of the Circus-

Tobi scowled. **"****SENPAI!"**

Deidara smiled then frowned. "Ye-What happened to your hand? Are you okay, un?"

Tobi glared. "You let the tiger bite Tobi! **TOBI CALLED YOU FOR HELP!"** He glared harder.

Deidara winced. "I'm sorry I was busy, un..."

Tobi resisted the urge to hurt Deidara. **"****TOO BUSY TO SAVE A FRIEND HUH?"**

Kisame whistles. "Damn..."

Deidara winced again. "Tobi I-"

Tobi stopped him. "We're not friends anymore! Bye Deidara!" He runs away.

Everyone glares at Deidara and Sasori.

Kisame looked to Deidara. "Because of you, I risked my life to save Tobi!"

Itachi laughs.

* * *

**I made this with my friends in 7th grade. I decided to upload it (with lots of persuasion). R & R!**


	2. Take 2!

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto characters!**

_**{} = thought(s) **_

* * *

Hidan sighed. "This is some jashin-damned bullshit... Tobi's gone..."

Deidara frowned. "Sasori-danna started it, un..."

Sasori shrugged. "Hn..."

Zetsu cracked his knuckles. "You better apologize to my Tobi-chan! If not I'll eat you... Trust me I will..."

Pain rubbed his temples. **"****ENOUGH!"**

Kisame whimpered. "Are there cats in this show...?"

Itachi smacked his forehead. "No! Why would there be cats if Tobi ran away? We have to find him!"

Kakuzu shook his head. "You can fight anyone here - even me - yet you're afraid of cats..."

Kisame nodded. "You people don't chew on me. Except Zetsu... But he's a freak..."

Zetsu glared. "Bitch..."

The camerawoman sighed. **"****ENOUGH LIKE PAIN-SENPAI SAID! NOW...ACTION!"**

-Show Starts-

The Akatsuki Clan went looking for Tobi. The crazy boy could be anywhere! Deidara and Sasori were the main ones looking for him. Poor Tobi.

Deidara cupped his hands around his mouth. "Tobi! Where's the good boy, un?"

Sasori stretched. "I'm leaving... Its midnight..." He yawns.

Everyone except Deidara gives an okay.

Deidara shook his head. "I'm gonna keep looking. It's mostly my fault, un! I should've pushed Sasori-danna away! But I didn't! Tobi got hurt and it's my entire fault, un!"

Zetsu smiled. "D-Deidara..."

Pain sighs. "Someone has to watch you..."

Zetsu's head shot up. "I'll go!"

Pain nods and everyone else leaves with him.

So Zetsu and Deidara go looking for Tobi. They searched for hours without sleep. Kisame had come with Itachi but they refused to go back. Mainly Deidara.

Deidara coughs hard.

Zetsu looked over. "You okay?"

Deidara nodded. "I'm f-fine... It's okay... W-we have to find T-tobi, un... O-or he'll hate m-" His eyes slowly close and body slowly falls.

Zetsu paled. "DEIDARA?" He runs and catches the bomb artist.

Zetsu runs back to the base with Deidara. He kicks the door down and everyone sees a motionless Deidara in his arms.

Konan raised a brow. "What the hell?"

Hidan shook his head. "I told the bastard to come home! But no!"

Pain rolled his eyes. "Take him to his room. **NOW!"**

Zetsu did so. After a few minutes Deidara got up.

Deidara shook his head. "T-Tobi... Gotta f-find, un..."

Pain frowned. "No. You're in no shape."

Deidara pulls out a bomb.

Pain stilled. "You wouldn't..."

He throws it and it explodes. Then he jumps out the window and runs into the forest.

Zetsu chuckled. "Damn..."

Hidan chuckled as well. "That blonde whore is something huh?"

Everyone nodded while running after the bomb artist.

Deidara runs and runs like his life depends on it. He's yelling our masked ninjas' name loud enough for the rest to hear him. Deidara keeps running until he sees Tobi in a cave petting wolf cubs.

Deidara gasps. "T-Tobi?"

Tobi jumps. "D-Deidara? Get away!"

Deidara stops moving. "I'm sorry Tobi! I didn't mean to let you get hurt, un! I miss you! Tobi please come back! You're a good boy, un! Don't make Senpai cry... Please don't..., un. It hurts to not be with a friend…"

Tobi whimpered. "Senpai..., I forgive you!** TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"** He runs and tackles Deidara.

The rest of the Akastuki show up. They see the two and smile. Zetsu then grabs Tobi and shakes him furiously. I mean like he's gonna kill him!

Zetsu growled. **"****YOU LITTLE BRAT! HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME! HUH? BAD TOBI-CHAN!"**

Tobi smiled. "S-sorry Z-Zetsu-kun... T-Tobi w-won't run away again..."

Zetsu stops. "Good boy."

They all go home until Tobi stops them.

Tobi grinned. "Guess what."

Everyone responded with a "what Tobi?"

Tobi grinned harder. "I fed the baby wolves!"

"You fed them?" Hidan looked dumbfounded.

Kisame tilted his head. "Uhh…"

Deidara blinked. "Un?"

Zetsu got scared. "T-Tobi..."

Tobi looked to his lover. "Yeah Zetsu-kun?"

Zetsu knew he was going to regret asking... "How'd you f-feed em...?"

Tobi grinned really hard. "With my pen-"

Kisame turns a light shade of green and throws up the Dango he had for breakfast.

* * *

**R & R!**


	3. Take 3!

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto characters!**

_**{}= thought(s)**_  
_**= action(s)_

* * *

The camerawoman cleared her throat. "We're just gonna get to the show since the writer couldn't think of anything for anyone to say before the show starts. Alright?"

**"GOTCHA!"** They yelled.

The camerawoman nodded. "Alright! Lights... Cameras... **ACTION!"**

/11:30pm/

Everyone was asleep except for Tobi. He kept thinking about last night. How Deidara kept looking for him. Then when Deidara found him and cried for him to come back, he never felt so happy. Nobody was that nice to him. Except for Zetsu. Maybe he was losing his love for the guy. He didn't know. He was confused. VERY confused. And when Tobi got confused, he got somewhat loud...

**"ZETSU-SAN!"**

Zetsu runs in. **"****WHAT'S WRONG?"**

Tobi sighed. "Nothing! It's just... Well..."

Tobi started to explain EVERYTHING on his mind.

—In Sasori's Room—

Deidara was in his bed cuddling his Danna. He too was thinking about last night. Sasori seemed to notice since Deidara stopped cuddling him. The blonde artist was deep in thought. The thought of the masked rouge nin was making him blush. He NEVER worried over anyone that much. Not even his Danna. Maybe he didn't love his Danna anymore.

Sasori sighed. "Dei-chan."

Deidara blinked. "Yes, un?"

Sasori let go of the blonde. "Do you truly love me?"

Deidara bites lip. "Of course, un..."

Sasori frowned and looked the blonde in his blue eyes. "Don't lie to me. Ever since last night, you've been acting...different... You don't love me anymore do you? It's alright. I swear. I understand how you feel."

Deidara hugs Sasori. "I'm so glad Danna."

—Time Skip—

Morning came and everyone was eating in silence. Itachi then came in yawning. Everyone shook their head.

Itachi frowned. "Whoever ate my Dango better run."

Kisame smiled sweetly. "But you said I could eat some Itachi-san."

Itachi kissed the bluenette. "That's right. Sorry."

Sasori walked in. "Morning Deidara." He headed to the fridge.

Deidara smiled. "Morning Sasori, un." He finished his orange juice.

Tobi blinked. "Nani?" (1)

Deidara looked to the raven. "I said Sasori, un. We don't go out anymore. As you can see he called me by my name. Not Dei-chan, un."

Hidan snorted. "So the damn artists aren't a fucking happy-go-shitty couple anymore huh? Give me my jashin-damn money Kakuzu-kun! I told you they wouldn't last another damn day after that "Tobi Incident"!"

Deidara looked shocked. "You betted on me?"

Kakuzu ignored him. "I'll win my money back if Tobi and Zetsu aren't together..."

Tobi throws his mask at Kakuzu. **"****TOBI DOESN'T LIKE THAT!"**

Deidara gasps. "Un... Y-your face is...beautiful, un..."

Tobi blushes and covers face. "S-Senpai saw!" He runs off.

Deidara runs after. "Tobi! Wait up!" He frowned. _**{Not this again. Please Tobi. Don't leave me again!}**_

Hidan laughs. "Seems like you two got fucking dumped! They fell for each fucking other! I feel sorry... **NOT!"** He laughes harder.

Zetsu punched the silver-haired ninja. "Fuck you and your fucking religion bitch..." He leaves.

Sasori scowled. "I hope you die..." The puppet master leaves.

Hidan sighed. "Aww come on! It was a joke!"

—With Deidara and Tobi—

Deidara and Tobi were yelling at each other in Deidara's room. Apparently Deidara thinks Tobi should show his face more. Yet Tobi thinks he shouldn't.

Deidara smiled. "How about this, you show your face around me, un."

Tobi nodded. "O-okay S-Senpai. T-Tobi will..." He smiled.

Deidara lifts Tobi's mask. "See? It's alright, un." The blonde kisses Tobi's lips.

Tobi blushed. "S-Senpai?"

Deidara smiled. "Tobi, I love you, un."

Tobi blushes and smiles. "I love you too Senpai!"

—Outside the Door—

Itachi chuckled. "Everyone, I want fifty from each. I won. If I don't get it, I'll tell them you eavesdropped. I didn't though. I just watched your expressions."

* * *

**R & R!**

(1) Nani - What in Japanese


	4. Take 4!

**Disclaimer: I own no Naruto characters!**

**_{}=thought(s)_**

* * *

Tobi giggled. "Senpai, Tobi can't believe Tobi is—"

Deidara covered his mouth. "You're gonna ruin it, un!"

Hidan groaned. "Damnit! I wanted to see why you two are so fucking cheery!"

Itachi shrugged. "It's normal..."

Kisame shook his head. "No! Tobi is MORE annoying. Deidara is making bombs non-stop!"

Itachi shrugs. "Never noticed..."

Konan slapped her forehead. "No comment..."

Pain looked around. "Where are Zetsu, Sasori, and Kakuzu...?"

The camerawoman smiled. "Kakuzu is at the bank..."

Everyone rolls their eyes.

The camerawoman giggled. "Zetsu and Sasori are—"

Kakuzu poofed in. "Back..."

The camerawoman blinked. "Never mind. **LIGHTS...CAMERA...ACTION!"**

—Show Starts—

Years had passed since Tobi and Deidara got together. Everything had CHANGED. Itachi and Kisame are married, Konan and Pain are married and have beautiful twins, Kakuzu proposed to Hidan, and Zetsu disappeared with Sasori for a month going on two. The masked nin and blonde artist have been keeping a secret for a while now. Deidara wants to wait until the right time to tell. Unlike Tobi, who wants to tell now.

Tobi whined. "Senpai, when can we tell?" He hops around.

Deidara sighed. "If I say now, will you stop hopping, un?" He glares.

Tobi cheered. **"YES SENPAI!"** He stops.

Deidara kissed his cheek. "Thank you... Now let's go, un..."

—After Tobi and Deidara Explain—

Kisame spats out water.

Itachi chokes on Dango.

Kakuzu drops money on the floor.

Konan and Pain spill the bottles.

Hidan snapped. "What the fuck? You've gotta be kidding! You're married? Since when? Why didn't you hell-holes tell us? Shit... I swear... We all told you bastards about our bitchy lives! What the hell happened to trust? Jashin-damn bitches!"

Deidara sighed. "Look, I wanted to wait until the right time, un!"

Hidan flails his arms. "So you wait a whole Jashin-damned year?"

Tobi hisses. **"****DON'T YELL AT TOBI'S SENPAI!"**

Hidan scowled. **"****CAN IT FREAK!"**

Tobi glares. "I said don't yell at Tobi's Senpai!"

Tobi and Hidan yell at each other.

Itachi nodded. "Hidan's right. You should've told us sooner."

Konan grabs Hidan's neck. "If you curse around my babies one more time, I'll make sure Jashin doesn't keep you alive. Got it?"

Hidan smirked. "Yeah."

Konan let go.

Hidan mumbles. "Bitch…"

Once everything was calm, the door busts open. Everyone was frozen in shock. Two people who haven't been seen in a month going on two had finally appeared. With two kids clutching onto them. Tobi and Deidara were the first to react.

Deidara gasped. "Sasori, un! Where were you?" He runs over crying.

Tobi's eyes widen. **"****ZETSU-SAN! TOBI WAS A GOOD BOY WHILE YOU WERE GONE!"** He runs over crying.

After all the waterworks and greetings, people were once again calm.

Kisame smiled. "So that's what happened?"

Hidan rolled his eyes. "So an artist and a freak go together huh! That was fucking expected..."

Zetsu hit Hidan on his head. "Don't speak like that around the kids!"

Tobi pokes the kids' stomach and giggled. "They're ticklish! Hey, I'm Tobi. Tobi is a good boy. You are good kids! Right?"

* * *

**Just so you know. Zetsu and Sasori are a couple and adopted kids. While Pain and Konan had kids. As much as I dispise that pairing, I couldn't fit Pain or Konan with anyone else...**

**It's finished! R & R!**


End file.
